Alone Moms

Many women know when they sign up for the military that even after their tour of duty is done, they may be re-activated and deployed at any time. It’s still a difficult family dilemma if a single mother is the sole source of support for her children. Whereas a single mother in civilian life may have daycare problems on a day-to-day basis, single moms in the military if deployed need to make childcare arrangements that can span months or years.

In cases of divorce, often child custody is the biggest issue to determine and years of legal and financial negotiations may be torn asunder when single moms in the military are deployed. The non-custodial father or other relatives may be called upon to take charge of minor child they weren’t expecting to have in their lives. If both parents who are divorced are in the military and both are deployed, the situation becomes dire.

The issue is addressed by the military in requiring all soldiers to have a Family Care Plan put together in the event they are recalled to active duty. This plan is mandatory for everyone, even single moms in the military.

It includes several forms that must be filled out and that all single moms in the military should keep current at all times:

The family care plan: It is the detailed plan a soldier is expected to make in advance in the event they are recalled to active duty.

A power of attorney: It gives legal authority for the child care of the minors. It establishes who the guardian is and what their rights are. It allows for that relationship to be established for extended periods of time.

Certificate of acceptance as guardian or escort: The form that verifies that the guardian has accepted their responsibility and has been made aware of the circumstances of the family care plan.

Application for uniformed services identification card DEERS enrollment: This provides military benefits to the children while the parent is gone.

Authorization to start, stop, or change allotment, for active duty or retired personnel: This allots a portion of the soldier’s pay to family members to support them while the parent is absent.

Letters of instruction: This is all the information important to the soldier’s family for legal, medical, and household purposes. Things like tax information, service providers, bills that need to be paid, car registrations can all be included in the letters of instructions.

Family care plan counseling list: A form that verifies the soldier has been counseled on the mandatory nature and information required in a family care plan.

Although single moms in the military may not want to think about the potential of being re-activated, it is a situation that is occurring more and more frequently for people in the military. Having a thorough and up-to-date family care plan ready at all times can alleviate some of the stress of being deployed and help ensure that the children’s needs are met.

For more great information about Young Single Mothers visit our “Young Single Mothers” Guide.

Many people think women become single mothers so they can get free handouts. If that were true then freebies for single moms should be everywhere and being a single mother should be a fun ride! Look around; there is very little free stuff for single moms. If there were such freebies before, they have slowly been eliminated from social programs. Most incentives for single mothers are not free. They come with a myriad of conditions and usually only seek to assist a single mother, not provide a free handout.

Single mothers can get some free stuff, but it’s not specifically limited to single mothers. She has the same options to find deals that any other member of society can get, regardless of family status. But, most of these freebies are set up by companies hoping to give away something for free so that the consumer will be enticed into buying a service or product.  They target specific segments of the population and give away promotional free things as a marketing practice so that consumers will choose their products. Obviously, single mothers don’t have huge economic clout or they would be targeted and we would see more free stuff for single moms so as to entice them to be consumers of particular companies.

A mother’s best bet for getting free stuff for single moms is her community and her relatives. Relatives can provide hand-me-downs and free babysitting. In a pinch, they may even be able to offer some shelter for a limited period of time.

Many single mothers now are forming anything from babysitting to housing cooperatives and clubs. Single mothers do share with other single mothers because they know what it’s like to be in this situation. They share baby clothing, tips for neighborhood resources, food, time, and babysitting. Joining a mother’s group, either locally or on the Internet, is one of the best ways to find free stuff for single moms in your community.

Another place to find free stuff for single mothers is the Internet trading areas. There are many barter and on-line free exchanges ranging from Craigslist to book swapping clubs. One only has to add a posting in the relevant sitting either asking for a particular item or offering an item. There are usually two sections for free stuff: barter and free. You can barter to get something without paying for it, or you can simply look through the free section to see what people are posting for free.

Once shelter and food is paid for, there may be nothing left for fun. Luckily, fun can be had for free. Single mothers are so busy pinching pennies that they think there’s nothing left for enjoying themselves. There may not be money, but fun can be carefully planned to be free. Enjoy a free visit to the museum, or take a walk in a park with your children. Read a book or play a board game. Go to open-air arts and craft festivals, just don’t buy anything. Visit other single mothers and plan play dates for your children. Go to the library and use the free computer terminal and Internet access. Check out some free books or videos. There are even restaurants that let your kid eat free.

Free stuff for single moms may be scarce to find in social programs but there are still plenty of people with a soft spot for single mothers who are willing to share. In addition, living frugally does not mean one doesn’t have the means to enjoy your life and your children.

For more great information about Single Parenting visit our “Single Parenting” Guide.